Things I Hate: 5

Hello and Welcome to the fifth installment of Things I hate. Before I get going, I'm going to warn you again that this will be my last post of this nature until the new quarter starts. This time on Things I hate, I will be going against something that will probably be affecting anyone travelling this holiday season: People who don't understand common-sense driving laws.

Lanes:
This is simple, the left lane means you want to go fast. At least 10 miles over the speed limit works. If someone is following you closely, get over so they can pass. If you like to drive slowly, get in the right hand lane. When the road is one lane on either side, pull off if you are going too slowly for the people behind you. If you have 15 cars following you, you're definately going too slow. If you drive a truck, you can pass other trucks ONLY if there are more than 2 lanes. Nothing is more annoying than going uphill and getting stuck behind one truck passing another truck. If you are being passed on the road, don't speed up. I don't understand why people do that? Do they want this to take longer? If the guy put in the effort to change lanes and go around you, that guy is going to go around you eventually. All you do when you speed up as someone passes you is you piss everyone waiting on him to pass you off because they have to wait for this crap to end so they can get on with their lives.

Speed Limits:
Always, ALWAYS go the speed limit. If you plan to go less than that, your car had better be breaking down or something. Cops usually don't mind if you go 5 over unless it's in a school zone or something, so there is no excuse to go less than the speed limit unless like you're pushing your car down the street (which should never be happening).

Directions:
As a man, I don't ask for directions ever. If you find yourself lost, for the love of God, DO NOT STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. People getting lost near my house always stop in the middle of the road. It's like, what the hell am I supposed to do? Wait while you drag your map out and check to see where you are? Screw that, you're getting the honk, then the pass, then the finger. I hear there's this cool new place for your kind, it's called the side of the road. Why don't you go get lost over there sometime?

Cell Phone Driving:
Personally, I find cellphone drivers tolerable (after all, I still do it despite it being illegal) except when they don't follow common sense rules of the road. If you are on your cell phone, you should always be in the right hand lane. I don't care how good of a driver you are, unless you are going fast enough to prevent me from wanting to pass you, you need to get into the right hand lane.

Cyclists:
Can we share the road? HELL NO. Get off my damn street and don't come back until you can ride at the speed limit. The only time you should be able to be on a bike in the street is if I don't have to change lanes when I pass you.

Pedesting (it's what I call what pedestrians do):
If you are crossing a busy intersection and your path obstructs a right hand turn, don't lazily walk and make them wait, get out of their way so that they can turn right and the people that didn't want to turn right can get out of the intersection and through the intersection.

Beggars:
Stop looking at me like that, please. You make me feel guilty.

Police Officers:
When you make an arrest, why do you feel the need to leave your car halfway in the lane? Seriously, it makes life difficult. I then have to go around you car by changing lanes, which means I have to wait for oncoming traffic to disperse. Just pull your car completely off the road like the person who just got arrested. They may not be able to control their speed, but they can at least not obstruct traffic.

I know it's short, but that's all I could come up with for now. I gotta get on to homeworkier things. Peace out.