Things I Hate: 2

Hello and welcome to the second installment of Things I hate. Before I get going today, I shall inform you that I am labeling all my Things I hate posts with a "Things I hate" label at the bottom of my post. To my understanding, this will allow you to go back and look at any old rants anytime you want. With that taken care of, let's get started, shall we?

Today on Things I hate, political advertisements.

Also, I hate people that call them (ad-vurtiz-mints) instead of (advur-ties-mints), but that is perhaps another rant for another time.

Anyway, I'm sure you've seen the ads popping up, oh, everywhere because of the election coming up. It amazes me how people can be such morons with their signs and their television spots as well.

First of all, people with signs need to realize that 5 signs within 4 feet of one another is overkill. Take for example, Doug Sutherland. Wherever I go, he always has signs up, but there are always 2 signs in close proximity to one another. The farthest I think I have ever seen his signs apart is about 16 feet (on either side of a driveway). The most annoying part is that those signs ARE EXACTLY THE SAME. For those of you that don't know ole' Duggy, he's running [to be re-elected] for the Washington State commissioner of Public Lands. Well shouldn't the commissioner of public lands understand how *not to destroy or deface them*? For example, I pass the 8th and 185th Street intersection daily (the one on the way to my house where you turn right at the gas station by the QFC and across from the Rite Aid). In that intersection, on a tall group of trees in the northwest corner, Doug put up a large sign, approximately 3 feet by 5 feetish about 10 feet up in the trees. Below that sign about 3 feet, is a series of 4 of his smaller signs that I see everywhere. I get the idea, Doug. Seriously, what makes you think that I am going to miss one of those signs at all? THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THAT SPOT AND THEY LOOK LIKE HELL. How could I possibly not miss them? It's idiocy like this that makes me not want to vote for people like him.

Personally, I've never really understood the concept of signs like that. They only really tell the candidate's name; the position they're running for; and occasionally, their party affiliation. Like that's going to change my mind on who I vote for. Ooh, that guy has a pretty sign, he must be better at doing political stuff. How about you get signs that tell me what you want to do. Give me a mission statement or something useful.


Now as for TV ads, these drive me insane. You know how you can get some funny ad and it will be funny the first time, then as it goes on, not so much, until you loathe seeing it? Well political ads start out between not funny and loathing seeing it. Not only that, but you get a huge-ass block of them half the time. I swear, the candidates make up for their lack of debates by placing their commercials at certain times. You get the 1st commercial:
"Hey both candidates, we're just citizens and we want our money. Tell us something good so we will vote for you." "Paid for by local idiots that didn't watch the debates."

Then the second one comes on:
"Well I, Dino Rossi, am barely qualified for this job, but I would do stuff that would help the economy, unlike Gregoire, who is soft on crime." "I'm Dino Rossi and I approve this message."

And before you can wonder why in the hell he just related crime rates to the economy, the third message comes on.
"I'm Chris Gregoire. While I'm barely qualified for the job as well, Dino Rossi is wrong. He thinks I'm tough on crime, but he wants to cut funding and lower the minimum wage." "Oh and also, I approve this message."

So then by this point you think, how did we get from the economy to minimum wage and how did it somewhat make sense? Then the fourth commercial comes on and before you can utter an expletive, it turns out to be just a stupid Burner vs. Reichert ad.

Now Darcy Burner and Dave Reichert, I wonder if you know that WE DON'T VOTE FOR EITHER OF YOU BECAUSE YOU AREN'T IN OUR DISTRICT. Unfortunately, they still advertise the crap out of our stations because we share with so many cities. I'm just happy we aren't getting the Bellingham race advertisements and crap.


Now I really hate these stupid attack ads too. They drive me crazy because they are just such stupid ways of garnering votes. Dave Reichert and Darcy Burner are the worst offenders. You get
"Did you know Dave Reichert is really ineffective? Doesn't that make you not care about how equally ineffective I would be?" "I'm Darcy Burner and I approve this message."

and then

"I'm Dave Reichert and I approve this message" "Darcy Burner SAYS I'm ineffective and she's actually kind of right. In summation, don't vote for Darcy Burner because she's a total bitch."

They just trade weak, girly hits at one another until the stupid voters of the world's heads explode from the inability to make up their minds.

I also hate the I-1000 ads. I-1000 pertains to legalizing assisted suicide, which I was against because I'm against suicide, but a good no-bullshit commercial from the Oregon governor changed my mind on it. Then of course after this, we get a commercial that says:
"My husband died without his dignity because it was illegal to keep his dignity. His dying wish was to have I-1000 approved."
or
"I was apalled that they even suggested the suicide option." (it was number 10ish on a list of 15 options (the other ideas must have really sucked) "She passed away naturally as God intended and her dying wish was to have I-1000 rejected.

Yeah these two I'm sure had I-1000 in their minds 2 years ago when they died before the initiative was ever drawn up.

or you get Martin Sheen, who ISN'T EVEN FROM WASHINGTON. What the hell Martin? You can't just barge into our state and expect everyone to follow your lead.

As for celebrities, I hate these pushy celebrity ads that pretty much call you a little shit if you don't vote. I especially hate the one with Jessica Alba and Hayden Penetenirya or whatever the hell it is. While the idea of Jessica Alba getting anywhere near my face for whatever reason is rather nice, it pisses me off. Where do celebrities get off thinking that they are better than us? I pay your wage, celebrities, don't talk down to me or next time you come out with a movie I know is going to be shitty, I wont go see it!

*ADDITION* 30 minute advertisements? WTF? I WATCH TV SHOWS SHORTER THAN THAT CRAP.


Well now I'm tired. Have a good last week of surviving political ads everyone. Until next week, Peace out.