Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Fair warning, this is going to be a lot of quotes. If it gets ridiculously long, I'll cut if off and post the rest tomorrow or something. Pictures are coming eventually, I'll even get some up today hopefully. Until then, feel free to read the post below if you haven't and here are the quotes.



My uncle and I regarding the ridiculous amount of food we brought to Sunriver:

My Uncle: Happy Thanksgiving!
Me: Uh oh, my calendar must be broken. I have the day before Thanksgiving. Oh well, happy Thanksgiving to you as well!
My Uncle: Settle down. Are you all on the road?
Me: No we're waiting for mom to finish shopping
My Uncle: Right, get some butter.
Me: I think we have 3 pounds, I'll have them pick up more just to be safe.
My Uncle: Yes. Good leadership.
Perhaps 7lbs and get some pepper too.
Me: I think we also need more pizza. We only have 6. I'm concerned we might starve.
Are you guys there already?
My Uncle: In Bend. Shopping for butter. Need more pizza too - you are right. Will pick up 5-6 and 12-14 chickens. Also, we only have 3 scuba tanks and 2 sets of crutches. Will that be ok?
Me: Might need more crutches just to be safe. Bring toilet paper too, we only have about 16 rolls worth. Running low on bread too, grandma was penny pinching and only bought us 6 bags.
My Uncle: Are you by a Cinnabon? We could suplement with those. Probably 7-8 dozen would be fine. We're at petsmart getting a kitten. Should we get the yellow or the pink collar.
Me: We all agree here that the color doesn't matter. It's the flavor that's important.
My Uncle: Your collective wisdom is awe-inspiring.




me: wow
next monday
zz top concert with spike and the impalers opening for them
cant go to that
also texans on monday night football
cant watch that
damn you band!
O: ouch
me: just watch, some girl will talk to me later in this week about how much she wants to have sex with me but next monday night is the only night that works for her
but i can't skip because i have to turn in a form that will hopefully get me to reno
O: you would give up sex for that?!
me: well reno=rachel
O: true and if you really wanted to have sex, reno would be the place to make it happen
me: indeed
O: rachel + hookers
me: haha
no dude
rachel plus this other chick!
that would be so epic
i would definitely have to text you that picture if that happened
with the caption "lolololololololololol(x2!!)"
O: hahaha
you would be perma winner
of everything
me: well
except for loss of virginity
i would have lost that
but still the other stuff would make up for it and then some
O: even if you peed your pants in public, we would still hold you in high regard
me: hahahaha
don't know whether to feel good about that or to be insulted that of all the possible embarassing things that could happen to me, you chose peeing my pants
O: well i was just trying to think of something real embarrassing
me: oh
O: it's not like i actually think that that embarrassing scenario would be more likely than others
me: ok that's reassuring
O: i have faith in your bladder control
me: yeah!
you're right, im the least likely to pee my pants
so its not like i was secretly voted most likely to pee his pants
O: yeah
they actually put that on that one page in the yearbook
in invisible ink
me: oh i'll have to check that out


Davis: I forogt that you're leaving me all alone
me: i know
Davis: no david and no orion
only stashley
me: well im touched you listed me first before orion even
hopefully next year i'll be in town
cuz i hate wasting away the weekend with little to no internet
Davis: hahahaha
lolly
most ppl would say the other way around lolz
me: haha wow you're right
how backwards
of them!
Davis: lolz
and dammit
i will refer to women with alignments if I so choose
me: haha
it is actually helpful
Davis: yeah totally
me: just nerdy
Davis: it's not like I"m telling them
like by now I'm fucking honest about DnD and Pokemon and shit like that no use hiding it
me: yeah i figured u werent telling them
Davis: I don't want to waste time with a chick who doens't like that shit or can't handle it
BAM


Davis: that was awesome
me: talking to a girl?
Davis: yes
sadly
me: how was it awesome
did you play starcraft during it or something?
Davis: lol
no
she's just amazing in many ways
me: like amazing at counterstrike?
were you talking to her for the last 3 hours?
Davis: yes
me: wow
i don't know that ive ever had a conversation with a girl that long in my life
or probably with anyone
either 3 hours is a longer than normal conversation or that puts my life in a really depressing perspective
Davis: rofl
I think it's a longer than normal convo
I dont' want to talk to most ppl for 3 hours
most ppl around here, I'm good with like 5 or 10 minutes
me: haha
yeah i can relate to that
so might ye want to vanquish today?
Davis: mayhap
me: how fanciful of you


lastredcoat: micro is easy and fun
macro is hard an evilll
me: oh noes dont tell me that!
i have yet to take it and my major is economics!
its like im about to have sex with this chick and you go "oh watch out for her herpes!"
lastredcoat: its like im in the process of fucking her now too
and you have to fuck her later
because of arrainged marraiges in india
me: it doesnt sound like youre fucking her
sounds like she's fucking you
lastredcoat: oh im having sex with her
me: haha
lastredcoat: and you will have my sloppy seconds
me: haha
lastredcoat: she just kinda lies there motionless
and has herpes
me: wow
so what do i get?
lastredcoat: so its a lot of hard work
for no real gain
me: well damn
lastredcoat: i think i just ruined sex for the both of us
me: yes, yes you did
now i'm afraid of economics AND vaginas!
thanks a lot!


Talking about the "how have you changed" part of my college essay:
lastredcoat: ooo
how have you changed?
me: yep
it was an odd question to get
caught me off guard
lastredcoat: how have you changed?
me: oh i manage my time better now
a lot better
lastredcoat: only cus i dont have a computor that plays SC
me: exactly haha
lastredcoat: otherwise....
me: but my gpa is .5 higher than in high school
otherwise SNOWBALL WARS FOREVER LIKE THIS WINTER BREAK HAD BETTER HAVE
lastredcoat: "David: tumm tee tummm stressful day but now to start my homework and do asisgned reading so im prepared or class"
"Keir: HEY BITCH WERE PLAYING STARCRAFT NOW"
"david: but but but...."
"i have homeowrk"
"Keir: SHUTUP YOU LIMPDICK WE PLAY NOW"
"*during game*" "Keir: YOU HAVE ONLY 2 HATCHERIES AND TERRIBLE DRONE SATURATION! FUCK YOU IM LEAVING BURN IN HELL!"
me: haha
so true...
lastredcoat: "David: cries for the rest of the day, cannot focus on hw"
me: haha


Keir finding an old picture on his blog and me getting it on facebook for him:
lastredcoat: print screen?
me: well i could
that would not look great tho
i can track down the photo on davis' blog though
lastredcoat: lol
that would be impressive
me: i wager i could get it from his blog and up on your wall within 5 minutes
START C LOCK NOW
lastredcoat: GO
has to be on facebook in 5 min
me: its on my desktop now!
lastredcoat: IEEEE
it has not been long
me: indeed
lastredcoat: 3 min remain!
me: it is up
lastredcoat: tagged?
me: ill do itn ow
tagged
lastredcoat: now its my profile pic
congrats
me: cool i feel so accomplished
HAHA
lastredcoat: yay
me: you cut him out!
lololol
lastredcoat: im a douche
me: totally haha


Looking at old posts on Keir's old blog:
me: you posted a clan teriyaki in order of coolness on your blog
i am 3rd on the list
thank you for that
"Pro Noob: I dont hate him as much anymore"
lastredcoat: i know
me: haha
lastredcoat: he was a terrible person
me: and i love the part about chung
that fucker got both of us with his bs backstabbing
lastredcoat: yeah i remember davis and i beat you, steven, and cheung me: i bet steven used to suck

O: so i definitely was tempted to comment "gay!" on davis' facebook status tonight
but i thought that might be insensitive
me: what was it
and you should have
ok yeah totally do it
or at least do "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMEEEE"
O: i'll do gay if you do that
me: ok
O: done
me: done consider him flamespiked
O: roflcopter! me: i screenshotted that
O: hahaha
we are so cool
me: totally
(I'll post a picture of that later)

1 comment:

Davos said...

First of all, when I saw the "gay" and "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE" comments I laughed for like a minute straight.

Then I saw this quote, where you DEBATE whether or not to say that. That, my good sirs, is fucking hilarious.