*David posts status update "David Altena is glad he did not decide to pursue a career in medicine after today."*
lastredcoat: no medicine?

noooooo
me: haha no
not after what i saw
lastredcoat: health care is now socialized?
so youll get no monies for doing it
me: ah
good point
no but what i saw was cyst removal
and it was gross and stinky and it made me not want to have to see that shit again
lastredcoat: ewww
where was the cyst?
me: on my grandpa's back
lastredcoat: ewww
me: indeed
but it was nice because the surgeon had a nice rack
lastredcoat: did you hit it?
me: haha no
lastredcoat: weakkkk
me: i should have given her some while she was opening it up
lastredcoat: most awkward sexual experience ever
or a new porn niche
me: haha
operation sex
lastredcoat: ILL GRAB THE VIDEO CAMERA, YOU FIND SOME OLD PEOPLE AND HOT NURSES
me: !!!!!
DOCTOR, I NEED 50 CC'S OF CUM, STAT!
WE DON'T HAVE A SYRINGE
JUST USE MY FACE
lastredcoat: sir, i'm afraid you have a benign tumor
you can live a normal life....for now
except your dick has become huge
 because it is in your dick
me: haha
lastredcoat: i am going to perform and immediate opperation on it
*starts sucking cock*
me: hahaha
i will have to quote this convo
lastredcoat: oh
well you should know none of this is original
its just a rehash of the porn i watch
its the only way i can get aroused
me: haha


*I see Grandpa holding a bunch of paper towels like what you get at a public restroom*
Me: Grandpa, where did you get those?
Grandpa: THE SHITHOUSE! Nobody was using them so I took a few!

*I notice Grandpa has a pink camera*
Me: Ooh, looks like you traded in your broken blue camera for a pink one.
Grandpa: Yeah, it's a pussy camera.


Doug: You guys gotta be more hip. You're like the boring snakes right now, they don't look cool and they're safe to touch. On the other hand, there's the snakes that look really hip, but they're the dangerous ones. You gotta try harder and risk having the mistakes so you can sound like the hip snakes.
Everyone: *confused laughter*

Doug: We need more of a crescendo there, a lot more than what you're doing.
Right now, you guys have a Paris Hilton crescendo going.
*Awkward laughter*
*silence*
Joel: What does that even mean?
*more laughter*